"STORYTELLER SYNDROME"

by Melody Ellenberger

        You have one of those friends who always has a story to tell about his/her current dating partner, don’t you?  Or maybe YOU are that storytelling friend?  And those stories are sooooo entertaining, aren’t they?  They can also be downright astonishing, can’t they?  I mean, it’s amazing what a person will do or say to someone he/she is dating!  And it’s not just women anymore that are particularly skilled— although I will admit we far outnumber the men in this area.  However, I’ve noticed a difference… women’s stories are longer and packed with lots more data, more emotion…more ENTERTAINMENT!  So the rest of this article will be written from the women’s point of view.

        The damsel in distress goes on and on about the details of her most recent "Dating Disaster," and her girlfriend leans forward to make sure she hears every word and gives the damsel her undivided attention.  The girlfriend responds back with comments like, "He didn’t!"  "Unbelievable!"  "What a jerk!"  "You need to kick his butt out the door!"  And then the girlfriend gives the damsel a big hug and says, "You deserve someone so much better than that."

        The damsel then meets up with another girlfriend and retells the whole story to her.  Then a day or two later another girlfriend calls her and asks how she’s doing, and the damsel replies, "Not good!  Wait till I tell you what my boyfriend did…"  And each time the damsel tells the story, she gets the same response, she gets….ATTENTION...and her friends get….ENTERTAINED.

        Then a few weeks or a few months later, the damsel is dating a new guy and you get to hear new dating disaster stories about the new jerk.

        How dull and incomplete our lives would be if we didn’t hear or tell one or two of these stories each week.  Hmmm? After all, what else is there to talk about???  After all, we need to be able to give and receive the emotional support, don’t we???

        My theory is that these "storytellers" are addicted to bad relationships because of the entertainment value of the stories they get to tell while they are in the bad relationship.  They get lots of attention and lots of emotional support from their……...girlfriends, but NOT from their……dating partners.  Hmmmm…..this doesn’t sound right, does it???

        If you are the storyteller, I’d like to suggest two alternatives for you.  The next time you experience a dating disaster, pick ONE friend to tell the story to and tell it ONE time.  Then let that story die and move on with your life.  Otherwise, find a good therapist and/or start attending "Relationship Success Workshops for Spiritual Singles."

        If you’re the friend who is always caught up listening to these stories, perhaps next time you should walk away.  You can say, "I’m sorry but my heart just can’t bear to hear another sad dating story."  The storyteller needs to get help and you need to find friends with positive, healthy lifestyles.

        Here’s a quote and some scripture that I came across and would like you to think about:

"Which would you enjoy more: being able to entertain your friends with uproarious tales of the ridiculous suffering you’ve had to endure, or having to face the risk of boring your friends with the uneventful peace you’ve cultivated through your crafty choices?"

Proverbs 15:13 & 30 – A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.  A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.